Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Last Post

This evening Evan and I did something we hadn't done in many, many months... we watched T.V. Such a random, mundane act, that brought a great sense of guilt to me... I had only buried my son yesterday, and yet somehow, I was able to watch telly... the punches in the stomach seem to come out of the blue now... in the beginning they were non-stop between periods of numbness, but now they leap from unexpected places to take my breath away and make my vision go blurry.

Today I also watched a gift that I was given from Logan's drama class... a DVD of Logan doing class performances... I was so proud... his joy on the stage was unmistakable, and I wish we had been able to see more. But more than anything, the gift they gave me was his voice.  I have cried so much because I cannot remember it... and now I will always have it. They also gave us a book of photos... some drama and others personal.... these brought tears as there were many I had not seen before.

Evan and I are not sure when we will take down our tribute table to Logan.  It is something that we will have to do, but will take time and courage.  In the meantime, we will still light candles for him smile at his photos.  I guess at some point I should vacuum his bedroom, if only for hygiene reasons, but I haven't been able to go in there since he left home... it could be a while away.

I would like to ask a favour... There were several people taking photo's yesterday, including a young man about Logan's age.  If you know who this is, could you please have him contact us as we would like a copy of the photo's that he took.  And if anyone else has photo's please forward them to us c/- Knighton Normal School, Knighton Rd, Hamilton.


Evan and I have so many people to thank... we don't want to embarrass anyone, so we thought it best to list what we are grateful for... Logan always told us we should look for the good in life and in people...

Thanks to the people and companies who:
  • provided wood for our deck
  • built the deck
  • did the plumbing in the bathroom
  • did the walls of the bathroom
  • did the building in the bathroom
  • put lino on the bathroom floor
  • did newspaper articles on our son/s
  • gave us the money to bring Logan home
  • made us meals
  • made the kids meals
  • gave us food vouchers
  • gave us petrol vouchers
  • gave me a new cell phone
  • looked after my chickens
  • looked after our turtles
  • gave us time off work
  • gave my husband a million days leave in advance
  • let us cry on your shoulders
  • gave me breaks in hospital
  • drove all the way to Auckland just to say hello
  • made donations towards Logan's funeral costs
  • brought our parents to visit
  • sent mail
  • drew pictures
  • sent packages from home
  • and made our boy feel so loved....
From the bottom of our hearts, Evan and I say thankyou to everyone who has supported Logan and our family through this last year... we are truly honoured to call you our friends and although Logan's Journey has now come to an end, we are only just beginning ours.

Although we may post photo's here, this is the last written post.

Good night and God Bless
Until we talk again
Tracy and Evan Roose
along with Brad, Charlotte and Amanda.

1 comment:

  1. Tracy

    You are amazing! The way you have written this blog is incredible ie. the way you have conveyed all the personal and medical details, as well as how you've captured your deeply felt emotions thruout your journey has kept me riveted for the past 4 hours - and I've read many of them before. You should become a writer!
    Also, your gratitude amidst your pain is like a gift to us. Thankyou